The Danish Diaries (It's Not Girly!)
by Pulcinella
Summary: Wild, crazy things are happening at the Nordic house, and they all relate back to Denmark! DenNor, SuFin, HongIce and mpreg, rating will go up in the future.
1. Sober-ness and Disbelief

_The Danish Diaries (It's not Girly!): Chapter 1_

Well, there I was, sober. It was October 27th, 2013, the first time in months that I stopped drinking. I remember the day's events rather clearly. It all started at the Nordic family meeting, which was going nowhere, as usual. The entire time I sat in my chair, just staring and staring at Norway from across the table. Iceland shot me a hateful comment, something about always being drunk, to which I immediately retaliated. This sparked an argument between the two of us, Sweden and Finland slowly inching away. Just when it started to get physical, throwing objects and challenging the other to a fist-fight, Norway jumped in.

"Cut it out, you two!" He gave me his signature Norwegian Death Glare. Iceland crossed his arms and grumbled, making me think that he actually enjoyed fighting with me. "Iceland, I know you're right, but we're in the middle of a meeting here."

"Ah, sure, he's right," I said sarcastically. No reply. "I swear to god, I'm blind stinking' sober! Seriously, try me." Norway rolled his eyes.

"No, no, I believe you. After all, you're not hitting on me all the time. I guess that's an improvement, at least you're not so desperate you would date a cat."

"What? I wouldn't date a cat..." I could see his disbelieving eyes.

"Funny, that's not what you told me yesterday." Suddenly I remembered and face-palmed.

"Norway, you don't get it. I didn't say that I would date just any cat, I said that if you turned into a cat I just might gain a feline fetish."

"Yeah... That's still pretty weird. Now, c'mon, let's wrap up this immensely unproductive meeting."

"No, you're not even listening!" He turned to me. "The only reason I said that is because you're amazing! And I love you no matter what!" I quickly covered my mouth the moment it slipped out, before clearing my throat and continuing. "And it's not weird. Greece does it."

* * *

"Denmark?" It was a little later now. I sat next to Norway on the couch and saw the faraway look in his violet eyes. I knew that he was about to say something wistful and deep. Something important, maybe about our little 'relationship'. I turned towards him and motioned for him to go on. "Are you sure you're not drunk?" I almost choked on my own spit.

"No. Wait, yes. Wait... I'm not drunk. I'm sure. Why?" I was definitely sober, but the way I spit that out didn't really agree.

"Well, you know, you still are hitting on me."

"Am not."

"Denmark." Norway swivelled his whole body so his eyes were parallel with mine. "You just said that you 'love me no matter what'. I think you're hitting on me. Just a little."

"W-well, that's not saying that I'm drunk. Ya know, telling you I love you... What if I really do?" Norway scoffed, obviously not believing me. "I-I do! And I'm sober!"

"Yeah, sure, and England can cook. Give me some kind of proof that you really haven't had any beer today." I sighed, rapping my knuckles on the coffee table three times in rapid succession. As intended, Finland was standing in front of us in seconds.

"Hey, Finnie, I'm sober, right?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, Mr. Denmark. I haven't seen you drink a drop of alcohol today. Congratulations on the prohibition, by the way! Is this going to be long-term?"

"No, now go away." The kid nodded and did as he was told. "Ah?" Norway and I both knew that Finland would never lie, especially not to our faces.

"Fine, I guess you're right... Just one thing, though. Why is Finland at your beck and call?" I shrugged.

"Kid lost a bet. Now he has to do whatever I tell him for two whole months." I leaned back into the couch. "So, you wanna go out with me?"

"Hell no!"

"Not even if I prove that I really love you?"

"Fine, of you can do that, then I suppose I can go with you on one date. One. Da-" Before Norway could finish his emphasis, I smashed my lips against his, pulling away rather quickly and staring at him.

"Well, did that prove anything?" He nodded, a bit stunned. Yeah. I was just that good of a kisser.

"Ok... And as much as I hate to admit it, you really smell kinda nice... I mean, when you haven't been drinking..." I laughed.

"Yeah. I know."

**Author's Note:**

Yay! This was actually an idea I had a long time ago, I've just never written down until now. There's definitely more on the way, here. :3


	2. Cookies and the Date

I happily leaned across the dinner table and wrapped my arms around Norway. We were out at some fancy restaurant, totally not my style, for our 'one date'.

"Denmark! What the hell?!" He squirmed in my grip. "You almost knocked over a candle! This whole place could've gone up. Idiot."

"Yeah, but it didn't." I continued to hug him.

"Your shirt is on fire." I jumped up and stood from my chair, holding out the bottom of my shirt and panicking.

"Ah! Norway! Do something!" He rolled his eyes and chuckled a little before leaning on his hand to watch the chaos.

"Nope." I tried patting out the fire, only to burn my hand, and waving around the bottom of the shirt gave the flame more oxygen. Pretty soon I had attracted quite a bit of attention, and one of the waiters came by holding a pitcher of water.

"Sir? Do you need any help?" I didn't waste any time taking off my burning shirt and dousing it in the pitcher.

"No. I'm fine." The waiter watched in surprise as I picked up the sopping piece of cloth and slipped it back over my bare chest. Norway tried to hide his face.

"Let's go, Mathias, before we cause any more trouble." Without waiting for an objection, he grabbed my hand and led me out of the restaurant.

* * *

"Hello, you two. How was your date?" This was Finland, happy and chipper and waiting at the door, just like I instructed him.

"Horrible. Denmark set his shirt on fire." I showed him how wet it was, and Finland put a hand up to his mouth, probably to stifle a laugh.

"So, Finland," I said, attempting to change the subject. "Are those cookies I asked for ready yet?"

"Oh, yes, Mr. Denmark, I baked them while you were on your date." He scurried off to the kitchen, coming back a few seconds later with a plate full of fresh-baked cookies. "Do you want some too, Norway?"

"Why not..." We sat down at the table, me trying to lead a conversation and him ignoring me. Within about half an hour, the plate was empty except for one lone cookie, which we both absentmindedly reached for at the same time, our hands touching in the process. He jerked his back in surprise before I grabbed hold of it with mine.

"Norgie..." I could see the blush on his cheeks, either from my use of his pet name, or the fact that I was now holding his hand and staring into his eyes. In one swift motion, he stood, turned, and jerked his hand out of mine, running upstairs like a little child. "Norgie, where're you going?" No reply. He was already in his room, the door shut behind him. I climbed up the stairs, lightly enough so he couldn't hear me coming, and pressed my ear against the door.

"Stupid, stupid, Denmark..." A heard a sigh. "If he's so stupid, why do I love him so much?" I shit you not. He fucking said it. Without wasting any time, I burst open the door, startling him from his place on his bed and almost shattering the picture frame he was holding. "D-Denny!" He hadn't called me that since we were kids.

"I heard you, don't even try to deny it." I smirked and made my way over to Norway's bed and sat next to him. His eyes were wide and he stared strait ahead, no doubt his heart was beating faster than mine. A furious blush overtook his cheeks, making him look cuter than he ever had before. It couldn't resist. I wrapped my arms tightly around his middle and pulled him in. He just sat stunned for a moment before relaxing and placing a hand tenderly on my chest. "Norgie?"

"Hm?" His eyes were closed and his expression was soft.

"Are you my boyfriend now?" I could see that it took him a bit to think. Norway leaned his head upwards, however, coming to a verdict, and gently pressed his lips to mine in a short kiss.

"Yes."


	3. Butts and Puppy-Dog Eyes

"Aw yeah, guess who got lucky last night!" I paraded into the living room, where the other three Nordics sat.

"Denmark!" Norway followed after me and grabbed my arm. "What the fuck is your problem? That's not really something you shout like that."

"Aw, but babe-"

"Don't call me babe."

"Fine. Norgie, what if I'm proud that I finally got you? You know I've been wanting that for years." He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I know that. You said it a million times last night. That gives you no right to let everyone know. Sheesh." Soon I caught on.

"You're embarrassed!" The blush that I should have noticed before spread like wildfire, tinting the tips of his ears pink as well.

"Wh-what? No. I'm not embarrassed." He stuck his nose in the air, attempting to stay prideful, but I could see right through it.

"Yeah. I believe you." He shot me a glare before strutting into the kitchen. I couldn't stop staring.

"Denmark, I know you're looking at my butt again. Cut it out." Damn, how did he always know? I looked around me. Nothing was interesting enough to direct my attention to. I continued to stare.

"No. You have a great ass. Deal with it." He sighed and turned the corner, vanishing from my view. I'd just have to follow him. And that's what I did. He had no idea. When he turned to yell something back at me, I was standing right behind him and he jumped. "Hey, Norgie."

"Ah! Shit... Why do you have to be so weird and stalkerish all the time?" I didn't answer right away, only smiled happily at him.

"Don' know," I said after a while. "I love you." He rolled his eyes and took some leftover fish out of the fridge.

"No duh."

* * *

"So..." I said. It was late now. We were sitting in the living room, the other Nordics having gone to sleep. It was dark and we were alone in the house. Perfect. I leaned over to Norway, to where he sat on the couch, and gently brought my hand up to his face. Stroking it along his jawbone, I figured that now was the time to swoop in for that all-important, seductive kiss. It never failed. Until now. My lips touched his, but before my tongue could make its way inside his mouth, he placed one hand on each side of my face and pushed away.

"Denmark, what are you thinking?!"

"I'm thinking that we could... You know. Again." I flashed my irresistible smile, composed of sparkly white teeth and even sparklier(?) blue eyes.

"Listen, last night was a mistake. Sure, I liked it... But, well, that was my virginity. And I don't think I was ready to lose it quite yet. I guess what I'm saying is that I got a little carried away. Sorry, Denny."

"...Are you saying you don't love me?"

"No, I never said that. I love you, I'm just not quite... Ready."

"Pleeeease, Norgie?" I pouted and stared into his face, knowing that puppy eyes this good always worked. Well, apparently I was wrong. Again. I tried all my best tricks, forcing my eyes open as wide as they could go, quivering my bottom lip, and joining my hands together in front of my chest. He had to give in any moment now. He didn't.

"I'm going to bed." He stood and made his way towards the stairs. I followed.

"What are you doing?"

"Even though we're not gonna have sex again... Could I sleep with you anyways? Ya know... To keep you warm."

"Fine. But if you try anything..." He glanced rather seductively at me. "I'm gonna have to do the same to you." I mentally fist-pumped.


	4. Puking and Huge News

"Hey, babe, you sure you're alright?" Norway nodded. It has been about a month since that first date. I was just a little too busy to write everything down. Norgie's been sick lately, and I don't mean 'oh, sneezie sneezie cough cough' kinda sick, I mean, 'sitting on the couch with a fucking bucket' kinda sick.

"It'll pass... I don't think it's deadly. Besides, nations are immortal unless we fall in battle, remember?" His violet eyes were clouded over and his skin was even paler than before. He looked terrible.

"Well, anything I can get you? Some water, or..." He shook his head. I huffed. I just wanted to help with something. "You're sleeping in your own room tonight. And I'm sleeping in mine. No way am I gonna wake up in a pool of your puke." He stifled a laugh, which turned into a harsh cough, and he jumped up to run to the bathroom. Gross. I wasn't gonna catch that, either. I plugged my ears from my boyfriend's wrenching in the bathroom, it was such a disgusting sound. What was his problem, anyway? Once the sound was over, I heard the toilet flush and the sink running.

"I think I'm gonna go to the doctor's office tonight..." His voice was hoarse, as it had been recently. Luckily he had thought to hold back his hair while he was emptying his stomach, so it was relatively clean.

"That's a good idea. Brush your teeth, too. We don't need to smell your puke breath. He shot me a glare and went back to the bathroom to do so.

* * *

"Denmark..." In the dark living room, I saw from the dim light of a single lamp my boyfriend, weary-eyed and tired. He plopped down on the couch next to me.  
"What's up? Are you ok?" A grunt returned. "Are you sick?" That was too obvious of a question. "I mean, I know you're sick. Are you gonna be alright?" Norway sighed.

"I... Just have some huge news... I'm not quite sure I can tell you right away. I still don't really believe it myself." I gritted my teeth.

"What is it? Do you have a special country-killer breed of cancer? Please say no... Is this some kind of omen for the future? Did you go to the doctor's or a tarot tent?"

"I went to that hospital, the one especially for nations. And, no, I don't have some ridiculous kind of cancer. I don't think I'm gonna die, it's just..."

"It's just what? What's up?" I was on the edge of my seat, now, staring deep into his eyes. He shifted them away from my gaze.

"Can it wait till morning? I'm still not feeling that good and I'd just like to sleep on it. I'll tell you tomorrow, alright?"

"No, not alright! You should know how impatient and curious I am! Tell me now, now, now!" I was aware that I was acting like a little kid. I didn't care. I needed to know. Norway sighed and attempted to change the subject.

"So, the weirdest thing happened to me yesterday. See, Romania just came up behind me and-"

"I don't give a flying shit what Romania did to you! What did they tell you at the hospital?!" He was avoiding my question, I know.

"-and after that happened, he said, 'So, what did ya think of that?' Oh wait, I skipped a sentence. Once he was behind me, I just felt-"

"Shut up with the stupid Romania stories!" If he wasn't going to tell me what I wanted to hear, I didn't want him to tell me anything.

"Fine. I'll be quiet then." I crossed my arms in front of my chest and sulked, sinking into the couch. Then I got curious.

"So, wait, what did Romania do?" I could almost feel Norway's smirk.

"I knew you would want to know. But, well, you told me you didn't want to hear about it, so..." I had never hated him more than I did at that moment.

"Fuck you, Norgie. Fuck you."


	5. The Great Unveiling and a Glass of Water

"So, what's up?" Norway bumped into me in the hallway the next morning, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Denmark, the fuck is your issue? I just woke up and you're already demanding that I tell you about last night? Are you really that impatient?" I nodded.

"Well, yeah. Didn't you know this?" He scoffed and turned, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"If you must know, go sit in the living room with the oth-" I took off before he could finish his sentence. By the time Norway strode in, I was sitting smack dab in the middle of the couch, leaning forward with my hands on my knees.

"Hey, babe." He sighed.

"Hello, Denmark. Everyone. I have some... News." He paused, for what seemed like an eternity, an eternity of silence and wicked anticipation. He looked at me before continuing. "I'm quite not quite sure how it happened, but, well... I'm pregnant." Gasps all around. Iceland stood quickly and started stomping off to his room.

"I am _done_ with this family!" Sweden stole a glance at Finland, smiling a little, if that was even possible for him. Finland just laughed nervously.

"Haha, you guys are so lucky! I'm very joyful for you! So, how do you feel about this, Denmark?" I sat and stared up at Norway, shock consuming my expression. Then I jumped to my feet and hugged him.

"This is so awesome! I'm a daddy!" He tried prying me off. I somewhat obliged, releasing my grip. "But, wait, how does this even work? You're a guy, right?" He rolled his eyes at the stupid question.

"Of course I'm a guy. Didn't you get any sex ed from a nation, rather than a human? We can get pregnant, no matter what gender we are. It's called mixed population. Unfortunately, it's always..." He muttered, "the uke." He blushed and looked at the ground, and I stood a little taller, proud that I was the man in the relationship.

"So, you're not really sick? You're just prego, huh? I guess that's kinda cool." I lazily slung my arm over his shoulder. Iceland stormed back into the room, a backpack on one shoulder, a messenger bag on the other. He rolled a suitcase behind him and quickly made his way to the door.

"Mr. Puffin! C'mon, we're going to go live with Hong Kong. Get your fat bird butt off the couch and follow me." The bird he spoke of looked up at his owner, his legs were crossed and resting on the coffee table and his wings were folded behind his head. He scoffed.

"Bitch, no. Things just got interesting. I kinda wanna see how this all is going to end up. Besides, you know I hate Hong Kong."

"Fine, I'll go myself." Iceland took his ridiculous luggage out the door, flipping up his middle finger behind him. I laughed.

"These next few months are going to be fun."

* * *

"Denmark!" It's been a week since we found out and I was already hating this pregnancy as much as Norway. I rarely got a moment to just sit and fucking blink a few times, nonetheless pee, before he would call my name. I grumbled and made my way to the living room where my pregnant boyfriend sat.

"Yes, your majesty?" He sighed and held up the empty glass on the coffee table in front of him. Seriously? I just got him more water, like, thirty seconds ago. How did he down it so fast?

"Just get me some water, I'm thirsty." I sneered and snatched the glass from his hand. And I thought that I was the lazy one.

_"Just get me some water, I'm thirsty,"_ I mocked as I reluctantly poured the liquid into the glass. I brought it back out to him and he smiled.

"Thanks, Denny." My eye twitched. "What's wrong?"

"Why don't you get your own water? What's so hard about that?" I clicked off the TV and he sighed.

"Denmark, I'm pregnant."

"I know that. But you're not fat yet. You can still do things yourself." For some reason, that was insanely hilarious to Norway. "Can we get an abortion?" He stopped laughing immediately.

"No."


	6. Cheesy Talks and Bathtubs

"Dammit, dammit, dammit!" I cringed at the sound of Norway's hoarse voice calling from the living room. Scared that something bad might be happening, I rushed in there and sat right down next to him. His hand was resting on his round, pregnant stomach and his violet eyes stared sleepily up at me.

"Babe? You alright?" I was not ready for when he burst out crying, sobs throwing his head forward into his hands.

"I-I'm sorry, Denmark!" I responded with a blank stare. He continued. "All these years... All these years I've known you, I could never... Tell you how I really felt. I always teased you, and, and, just acted like such a jerk... I'm so, so, sorry! I actually loved you this whole time, I just couldn't tell you..." He started crying full-on again, and I couldn't help but cry a little myself (which was so not like me, I must add). I wrapped my arm around my boyfriend's shoulders and pulled him in for a very loving hug. His head rested on my chest and his hands automatically travelled up and gripped my shirt.

"Oh, Norgie..." I kissed his forehead, ruffling his hair and making him smile through his tears. "I forgive you."

* * *

"Babe?" I stood just inside the bathroom door and stared down at Norway. His naked, pregnant self was laying asleep in the bathtub, the water around him soaking his blond hair. He looked so peaceful, but It didn't want him to drown... "Babe? Norgie? C'mon, wake up. Norgie! Babe! Wake up!" I shook his shoulders. I blew in his ear. I tried everything, but he didn't wake up. Then I got an ingeniously cruel idea. "We ran out of butter!" That did it. Norway twitched awake, splashing water in my eye.

"What?! We're out of butter?!" I laughed.

"You're so gullible. Why're you sleeping in the bath, anyway?" He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I guess it's just a pregnancy thing. So, are we out of butter or not?" I shrugged.

"Maybe, I don't really keep tabs on our butter inventory." He scowled at me, and even though it didn't seem possible, the Norwegian Death Glare seemed to be scarier than normal. "Ah! I-I mean, we have some, I'm sure of it."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm getting out. This water is all cold anyway," he said, as if he expected me to look away. I was his boyfriend, dammit, I could look wherever I wanted. He didn't show any sign that he wanted that, however, standing from the watery tub. To be perfectly honest, I didn't mind the... Large-ness of his stomach. It kinda made him look cute. Norway sighed when he saw me staring.

"Yeah, I know, I'm fat..."

"No, you're not fat at all. You're just pregnant. And I think you're beautiful, Norgie. The way that your eyes sparkle, even when you don't think they are, or the way that your hair always falls perfectly." He reached up and subconsciously twiddled with a strand of his hair.

"Y-you really think so?" I nodded and smiled warmly.

"You're not just beautiful on the outside, either. Earlier you said that you always acted like a jerk towards me, but you really didn't. I never cared. Your personality is so... Sexy. I love you, Norgie. I really do. In every way. From the small things, like how you always know when I'm lying, to the big things, the way you yell out my name when you're about to-"

"Alright, that's enough." He raised a hand to shut me up. "Ya know, you had me going for a while there, but..."

"See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. It's just so sexy when you get mad at me like that! Aw, shit..."

"Denmark! Fuck. No." I couldn't help myself. I stepped closer and leaned forward hard, shoving Norway so his back was pressed against the wall. My hands were placed on either side of his head and my tongue slowly made its way into his mouth. I made out with my boyfriend for a solid minute before he pushed me away, anger apparent.

"Sorry, Norgie. I was just really turned on..."

"Yeah, whatever."


	7. Following and Visits

"I'm going to take a bath." Norway broke away from the warm embrace he was wrapped tightly in. I didn't want him to go.

"What? Another one? You just took one last chapter." He gave me the weirdest look possible, then proceeded towards the bathroom.

"What do you mean, 'last chapter'?" I shook my head and waved my hand, indicating that it wasn't important.

"Uh, never mind. Anyway, can I take one with you?" He raised one of his eyebrows but kept the rest of his expression unamused.

"No."

"Aaaw, why not?" I dropped down on my knees and folded my hands in front of me. "Pweeeease, Nowgie? Fow me?" I saw him wrinkle his nose in disgust.

"Hell no, and talking like a baby isn't going to help! It's one thing to take a shower together, we used to do that all the time, but it's completely different to take a bath. That tub can barely hold my pregnant ass, nonetheless fit two and a half people." He scoffed.

"And a half? Are you... Are you cheating on me with some midget?!" He rolled his eyes.

"No, idiot, I'm pregnant with your child. And don't call 'em midgets, it's mean." Norway continued to make his way to the bathroom, and I bounded to my feet to follow him. "Denmark, what are you doing?"

"Coming with you."

"I told you not to take a bath with me."

"I don't care." He kept walking. I kept following.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Following me!"

"Why?" He sighed and turned to me.

"I already told you. Now cut it out."

"Cut what out?" I grinned. For some reason, annoying your boyfriend as much as was humanly possible was so fun. His eye twitched. "I'm just kidding, Norgie." He turned again and kept walking, thinking that I would stop following him. I didn't. He stopped in front of the bathroom door to open it, and I crashed into him.

"DENMARK! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!" I couldn't help but crack up, it was so hilarious to see him mad like that. I doubled over laughing as he stared at me with the most evil, deadliest Norwegian Death Glare possible. Eventually I fell over from my immense laughter and was soon rolling around on the floor. At that point Norway decided that I wasn't worth glaring at and proceeded into the bathroom. I heard the door lock behind him.

* * *

I knocked on Hong Kong's door. Norway stood beside me, and Iceland's puffin sat at our feet. Soon the door creaked open to show the owner of the house, the brown-eyed Asian staring at us with a forever emotionless face.

"Hey, uh, is Iceland here?" We knew that Hong Kong was Icey's absolute best friend, and we just came for a visit.

"Hey, who's tha- Ah, shit, don't let 'em in!" We heard a voice from inside the house, and the brunette proceeded to close the door in our face. We sat there stunned. But we didn't leave, instead I pressed my ear against the door.

"Ah... Now where were we?" Iceland's voice came off seductively, leaving the three of use to wonder exactly what was going on in there. Moans coming from behind the closed door only confirmed our speculations.

"Um... Come on, Norgie," I whispered. He nodded. We left.

**Author's Note:**

I forgot to upload a chapter yesterday! Bad Pulci, bad! So, to make up for it, I'm gonna upload two today. I already started on chapter 8, anyway.


	8. Doctors and Greenland

"Denny?" I looked over at Norway, tearing my gaze off the TV screen. He sat, very uncomfortably, on the chair next to the couch.

"Hm? You ok, babe?" His eyes met mine, and he mouthed something to me. I tilted my head slightly and raised my eyebrows. I can't read lips. "What?" He sighed.

"I think it's time, Denmark."

"It's... Time? What ti- Oh. Oh! It's time! Well, come on then!" I stood quickly and ran up frantically behind him, slipping my hands under his armpits and hoisting him up in the air. He grunted in protest.

"Denmark! That's not how you treat a fucking pregnant person!" I set him back down on the floor.

"Sorry."

* * *

"Well, Norway, looks like we should get you into a private delivery room, seeing as you're a country. And a male. Luckily for you, I work here." Britain stood behind the counter at the local hospital, light blue scrubs underneath a white doctor's coat. A badge hung on the coat, the words 'Dr. Arthur Kirkland, M.D.' typed under his picture.

"Britain? You're a doctor?" I stood in disbelief. He nodded and smiled.

"It's a little hobby of mine. After all, you can't let four years of medical school go to waste. Now, come this way." He waved his pen behind him, and we followed.

Within minutes we were all set up in the delivery room. Now I was even more curious than I ever had been before.

"England?"

"That's Doctor England to you," he said jokingly. "What is it, Denmark?" I shuffled a bit in my spot next to the hospital bed.

"So, how does this even work? I mean, like the birth and stuff... And does this mean that Norgie has a... A uterus?" Britain smiled.

"You'll just have to find out. Alright, I think we're ready to start." And at that moment I felt Norway's hand grasping on tight to mine.

"Denny... I'm scared." It wasn't like him to be acting like this. He looked up at me with hopelessness in his eyes. "Just hold my hand, alright?" I nodded.

"Don't worry, Norgie. I'll stay here with you."

"It's alright, Denmark. You can see everything up there on that screen." Britain pointed up at a TV as he slipped on rubber gloves, making it apparent that there was a camera trained in on my boyfriend's genitals. I smiled.

"Come on, Norway, push!" He did. He screamed. I felt my hand being squeezed tighter. This event repeated itself multiple times over, and the time flew by. Finally, when Norway was sweaty and worn out and had cut off almost all circulation to my hand, Britain said the words we were all waiting for. "You're almost done, now. Stop pushing for a minute." Norway gratefully obliged and let up his death grip on my wrist. Once his breathing slowed down he turned to me.

"Thank you, Denny. I don't think I would've been able to do it myself." I smiled down at him and kissed his forehead.

"Well, looks like we're done here. Congratulations, you two, you're the world's newest parents." He held up a still-pink newborn, who wasn't crying like most babies. Instead, he sat silent in England's arms, looking at the two of us.

"Uh... Britain?" I was a bit worried. "Aren't babies supposed to cry when they're born? Doesn't that, like... Get them used to breathing?" He just chuckled a little, which did nothing but make me even more concerned.

"Well, I appreciate the thought, but it's not unusual for a nation to be born differently. You should be lucky that this is all that happened."

"So... What you're saying is that... He's a country too?" Britain nodded. I turned to Norway, ecstatic. "This is Greenland, babe! Remember how we said that there should be a representative of Greenland? Well, this is him!"

**Author's Note:**

Alright, that settles it, I'm nothing more than a lying, cheating, potato eating- ah, never mind. Last chapter I said that I would upload two yesterday to make up for none on Monday. Well, things happened and I didn't have enough time. Only one today, I guess.


	9. Sleeping and Firecrackers

"Denmark..." I looked down at my almost-sleeping boyfriend. "Thank you... For staying here..." His voice was soft and his sentences were slow. I stroked Norway's tame blond hair and the tiniest hint of a smile appeared across his lips as his hands travelled up to clutch my shirt. It was late in the hospital that our son was born in not five hours ago. I could tell that he was completely exhausted from the birth, but I couldn't sleep at all. These past nine months were so life-changing. Was I really ready to be a father? Of another nation, nonetheless. It wasn't long before I heard calm, steady breathing; a sign that Norway was sleeping peacefully. That was good.

_"He's so... Calm about all this."_ I smiled. _"I think he would make a great mom."_ I leaned down and lightly kissed the top of my boyfriend's head, which disturbed him only slightly. Soon I was able to get comfortable and drifted off to sleep, right beside him.

* * *

"Ah! So this is your baby!" Finland held out his arms to us when we walked in the door. "He's so very cute... And he looks just like you, both of you! Can I hold him?" I looked over at Norway, who smiled and nodded in approval. I gently transferred Greenland (Human name: Aron Køhler) to Finland's arms, and he smiled as well. "He's just so adorable!" We sat around watching the him over our new baby, and almost didn't notice the front door clicking open slightly to show Iceland peeking through the crack.

"Hm? Icey? I thought you were living with Hong Kong." Norway partly turned to face him, but stopped when he saw tears in his brother's violet eyes.

"O-" He seemed pretty nervous, and hesitated to say the word. Then he did something that none of us expected. He ran forward and captured Norway in a tight hug and started crying. And if you think that was unexpected, he finished the word he started. "Onii-chan!" Norway looked down in shock at his brother, then back up at me, mouthing the words, 'he said it.'

"I-Icey? Are you ok?" The kid was about to nod out of instinct, but he quickly rethought that and shook his head instead. "What happened? Did it have something to do with Hong Kong?" I could see that Norgie was secretly enjoying being his 'onii-chan'.

"He... He woke me up with firecrackers!" Silence.

"That's it?" Iceland looked up with a slight bit of annoyance in his eyes. Damn, he looked just like his brother.  
"

What do you mean, that's it? What if _Denmark_," I scoffed at the tone he used for my name, "put fuckin' explosives on your chest and lit them up just because he wanted you to make him breakfast? It's not pleasant, let me tell you. And that was just the final straw. There were a bunch of other... Little things. And I'm just... Kinda happy to be back home." Then he directed his gaze towards Greenland. "Is that it?" We nodded and I took the baby from Finland.

"Yeah, Iceland. Congratulations, you're an uncle."

**Author's Note:**

I am sorry. I am so, so, so, so, so, sorry... Taking all this time and then giving you a chapter as short as this one. ;-; Please forgive me, my followers. This project hasn't died yet! By the way, I'm willing to take suggestions for the next chapter.


	10. School and Birthdays

Greenland grew up so fast, I'd barely had time to write anything down. Before we even knew it, it was his first day of school. We had enrolled him under the name Aron Køhler, and told all the other nations to refer to each other and themselves as their human names. We were planning to tell him about the country thing around the time that we told him about the birds and the bees. After all, they both are kind of weird.

"Well, sweetie, this is your school." Norway stood holding his hand, acting like a true mom. Aron looked up at the building and he bit his lower lip. "Me and your daddy went to this school when we were your age." I knew that wasn't true, considering our age, but I wasn't about to say anything.

"Really?" Norgie nodded. "How long ago was that?"

"Oh... I don't know... Coming up on... 30, now." Greenland chuckled.

_"More like thirty-thousand,"_ I thought.

"Mommy, you're old." Oh, if only he knew our true ages. Norway scowled, a kind of Norwegian Death Glare that I've only seen when directed towards our kid.

"Not really." They let the topic drop and looked back up just in time to hear the bell ring.

"Mommy, what's that?" I felt bad for the poor kid. He looked truly scared. I remember I was, that bell was so loud and sudden.

"It's just the school bell, honey. It means that it's time for you to go to class!" Aron settled down and nodded.

"Yeah. I knew that." Oh, Greenland was my kid, alright. It wasn't just those eyes that he stole from me, but the attitude. Norway chuckled a bit to himself before kissing the kid's head and sending him on his way.

"Of course you did. Have fun, honey!" Aron started running towards the building with his arms out like an airplane. Damn, that kid was just like me. If Norgie got Iceland, then I get Greenland. My boyfriend walked back over to me, leaning against the car, and I automatically put my arm around his waist.

"I'd hate to sound cliché, but they really do grow up so fast, don't they?" He smiled and nodded. We both looked strait ahead, watching him go on his way, until his little blond head disappeared into the school.

"Yeah. They do. I can't believe it's been five years..."

"Seems like only yesterday..." He laid a gentle kiss on my lips before we both got in the car and drove off.

* * *

The rest of the day was pretty eventful. It was Finnie's birthday, and since nations don't have to go to work, we got to celebrate it all day long. Let's just say that we thought Spin the Bottle wouldn't be that fun as adults—until Sweden landed on the birthday boy. Then, of course, there was Seven Minutes in Heaven (totally my idea, by the way), but nobody wanted to play but me and Norgie. He didn't say so, but I could tell that he did. Then, Finland started complaining about how we were turning it into a 'dirty party' with all our 'gross games' and he just wanted some 'good, clean, fun'. I mean, I know it's his birthday, but he doesn't have to be such a killjoy about it. Geez. So, Sweden changed the tune by bringing out cake and presents and other birthday stuff. I think that cured Finnie's stick-up-the-ass-ness. Just a little. The rest of the day passed quickly and boringly. Without the 'gross games' there was really nothing fun to do. Sure, there was cake, and little kid games, like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, but who the hell plays those games when they're turning 30-something thousand? Apparently Finland. Well, whatever. I guess we were just having so much fun that we lost track of time and were kinda surprised when Greenland came home.

"Oh, hey, Aron. How was school?" Iceland pushed his silver hair behind his ear. He seemed to be handling this... Actually pretty well. Better than we thought.

"Ah! Hey, Uncle Emil!" He jump-hugged (isn't that called a 'glomp'?) Norway's brother, then turned to us.

"Mommy, Daddy, I have a question." I tilted my head slightly to let him know we were listening. "What does 'faggot' mean?"

**Author's Note:**

Oh no! Poor little Green-chan! ;-; Some kids must've found out that his parents were both guys... But, anyway, super special chapter today for Finnie's birthday! Happy birthday, Tino! :3


	11. Anger and Synchronisation

"What?! Who called you that?!" I spoke through my clenched teeth. "I will _pound_ their retarded ass into next week! Nobody calls my kid a fag!"

"Mathias..." Norway placed a hand gently on my raised fist, trying to calm me down. "Stop it, you're scaring the kid." Sure enough, Greenland was shivering and looking up at me with the mirror image of my eyes. Really, super, excruciatingly, stare-into-your-soul _bright_ blue. I calmed down a bit at the mere sound of his smooth, sexy voice and my shoulders relaxed.

"Seriously, though. Who was the little bastard that called you a faggot?" Glare from my boyfriend. Not like it mattered. He gulped.

"U-uh... I think his name was Peter. He's one of the older kids."

"Peter? Do you remember his last name, sweetheart?" Norway bent down to his level and looked at him with the soft, violet eyes that I fell in love with. Aron nodded.

"Y-yeah... Kir... Kirkland?" Norway looked back at me.

"Peter Kirkland. That's Sealand, Denny." I rolled my eyes. I should've expected such rude behaviour from that kid.

"C'mon, Vikings. We're gonna show Arthur what we're made of." I sometimes called us Nordics Vikings, because we were once, and I'm proud of it. My citizens even have a Vikings festival every year to celebrate (and brag a little). Sweden shook his head.

"No. There's no point in goin' over there jus' 'cause th' kid was mean. It's not Arthur's fault." I glared at him.

"What do you know, Berwald? It is so his fault. Who raised the little dipshit? Anyone who messes with my little Aron messes with me!" I put up my fist again.

"Mathias, stop." I growled. "We're not getting anywhere with this. Anywhere except violence." Norway stood and stared me down with those emotionless eyes. "Maybe... We could confront Peter directly and talk to him. It's really not Arthur's fault."

"Fine. Talk to the little bitch. Tell him exactly who's the fag. Not my son, that's for sure." He shook his head.

"No, nothing like that..."

"Daddy, Mommy?"

"Hm?" We glared at each other briefly. Talking in unison was cheesy. "What is it, Aron?" God, what was our problem? "CHEESECAKE!" Crap! We kept saying the same thing at the same time. "ROBOTS! BEACHES! MAGICAL HAPPY DANCING COTTON CANDY UNICORN ELVES!" Now that was just scary. I looked at him, eyes wide.

"Um..." Oh, poor Greenland.

"I fear your future, kid." Iceland picked him up and carried him away. We never heard his question.

* * *

My turn. I stole Denny's diary. Anyway, he's been portraying these events pretty well, I guess. (And I'm rather flattered by how he talked about my eyes in that last bit). My personality has changed drastically since Greenland was born. Denny said that I became more motherly and caring. I guess that happens to every mom. But, seriously? Me? Caring? I didn't think so. -Norway

Mommy said I could write something in Daddy's book, but I can't write so I asked Mommy write it down for me. I don't remember what my question was. But Daddy never answered me. What is a faggot? And why was Daddy so mad at Peter? Was it anything I did? -Greenland

I'm not sure if I should be doing this... Mr. Norway told me I could, but this is Mr. Denmark's diary! I don't think it's a good idea to write in it without his permission. He might get mad at me and make me his slave again... I hope he doesn't start a fight with Mr. Norway for taking it in the first place... -Finland

I pass. -Sweden

ALRIGHT WHY HAVE YOU BEEN WRITING IN MY DIARY?! NORWAY!


	12. Hair and Converastions

"So, Sealand…" I stared the little bastard down from across the table.

"Yes, wanker?" Snarky little bitch.

"Fuck you! You called my kid a fag!" I stood up from my chair and Nor frowned.

"Denmark, sit back down." I growled, but did as I was told. Suddenly I was completely absorbed in my hair. I figured there was nothing to say besides that. I grabbed a strand and played with it, mesmerized. How did it stay up like that? I didn't put anything in it… No gel, moose, hairspray… I didn't even mess with it. I just woke up every morning and it was like that. Weird. Of all the- "Denmark!"

"Hm? Yes, babe?" I dropped the strand of hair and looked at him. Norway sighed.

"Pay attention, please. Don't play with your damn hair." He slapped my hand when I grabbed it again. I huffed and sunk down in my chair.

"Never mind. I said what I wanted to say. Let's just get out of here. It stinks of burnt things and alcohol." I stood to leave, Norway captured my wrist. He shook his head. I sighed and reluctantly sat back down. He pointed towards where Sweden and Finland where having a conversation with England. It looked pretty serious. No one was laughing. I raised an eyebrow. "What's going o-"

"SHH!" Damn, did he have to be such a tightass all the time? He put a finger up to his lips and pointed again before whispering, "Look." I looked. They seemed to come to an agreement. England snapped, catching Sealand's attention, and jerked a thumb at a hallway behind him. The kid jumped down from the chair and walked where he pointed. They went back to talking, although it looked like they were wrapping it up. The little bitch came back in the room with a backpack. Sweden and England shook hands. Finland smiled. I still had no idea what had happened.

"We ready t' go?" I nodded and practically jumped up from my chair. We walked towards the door.

Later. The car. Sweden was driving, Finland was in the passenger seat, and I was squeezed in the middle with Norway practically in my lap (which I wasn't complaining about, by the way), and the underaged man-whore pushing his backpack against my leg.

"So, what happened? Why do we have _him_?" I jerked my thumb at Sealand. Finland turned around in his seat.

"We're taking him in for a few weeks to see if a positive influence will change his behaviour. I hope you don't have a problem with that." He ruffled the kid's hair. "I think he'll get along with Greenland if we teach them. I scoffed. Yeah, whatever. I turned to Noway, trying to change the subject, and smirked.

"Ya know, this position would be really awkward if we weren't dating." He laughed. That was weird, it wasn't that funny….

* * *

"Hey, Norgie?" He looked up, blushing. About two hours later now. We were in his room, he was sitting on the bed and I just walked in. His head was in his hands and it looked as if he had been crying. "You ok, babe? You've been acting kinda weird lately…" He shook his head and plastered an obviously fake smile on his face.

"I'm fine, trust me." I frowned. I didn't quite believe him, but whatever…. I sat down next him and wrapped my arm lazily around his waist.

"Ok."

** Author's Note:**

Ok, so I give you three guesses for Norway. Anyway, This was the first (and probably only) chapter I wrote on my laptop. I didn't have my iPad. I personally think pages is much better than this crappy thing. It least it gives me an idea of how long the chapter is…


	13. Christmas and Treasure Hunts

"NORGIIIIIIIIIE!" I ran full-speed into my boyfriend's room. "GUESS WHAT DAY IT IIIIIIIIIIIIS!" I jumped on him and kissed his cheek. He woke up and glared at me.

"What the fuck to you want?" I smiled.

"It's Christmas." Long silence.

"Well, duh." He moved to sit up and I moved aside to let him. I watched as he got dressed, but the only thing on my mind was Christmas. I loved Christmas. And it was today! Presents and eggnog and cookies and food! I couldn't wait.

"Can't you get your pants on any faster? It's fucking Christmas!" He huffed as I came up behind him to help.

"Denmark! What the fuck?! I can get my own pants on, thank you very much." I sighed.

"I know you can, but not fast enough!" He kicked me. I fell backwards and let him do it himself. "Fine. The others are probably already opening their presents right now." He scoffed.

* * *

Finally, finally he was done with the fucking pants and we walked out to the living room. Iceland was sitting on the couch holing Greenland, Finland was dressed up as Santa handing out presents, Sealand was smiling holding a big one, and Sweden was standing behind him. They were waiting for us.

"Awesome!" I rushed to the couch and waited for Finland to hand over my haul. He gave me a small packet the size of a gift card. I frowned. I waited, but that was they only thing I got. It was from Norgie. Great, my boyfriend was the only one to buy me a present for Christmas and it was a motherfucking gift card. I opened it and tried to act happy and surprised. And wouldn't you know it, it was a- not a gift card. A letter. Folded up to be the size of a gift card. I mentally rolled my eyes. Even worse. You can't buy anything with a letter. I unfolded it anyway, and read aloud.

"Denmark- Remember when we were little? Those treasure hunts you used to make me go on? You would hide slips of paper around the house with clues on where the next slip was. Once you got to the end, a surprise was waiting. Well, I wanted to try that again. The next clue is hidden at the place I blushed for the last time before we kissed." I looked up at Nor. He wasn't sitting where he used to be. I thought about the clue a bit before it hit me. I ran to the kitchen and sure enough, a piece of paper was sticking up out of a plate of cookies.

"Good, you figured it out. Where did you keep following me, even though I told you not to?" That one was easy. The bathroom. The next clue was sitting on the edge of the sink.

"Oh come on, I can do better than that. What happened to your shirt on our first date?" What? It set on fire... How did that have to d- "The stove!" I ran back to the kitchen, where a pot sat empty on the stove. Inside was the next clue.

"Wow, you're a smart one. I would've never thought you'd think of looking here! Well, your present for being so smart is the last clue. You'll find it where I found the remote yesterday." What the hell does that mean? I checked under the couch cushions. Nada. Anywhere I could find a TV remote, I looked. Then I facepalmed. Yesterday we had a huge fight over the remote. He found it in my room, and complained I was hoarding it. I ran in. A piece of paper was propped up on my bed. I opened it.

"How many times have you told me you loved me?" I stopped. That was impossible to count. I read on. "You got stuck on that, didn't you? Go across the hall." I did. His room. He was sitting on his bed, smiling when I walked in.

"Seven hundred fifty three times."

"Hm?"

"That's how many times you've said that you love me. I counted." He stood, but instead of walking over to me, he just stayed where he was.

"Since we got together, or..."

"Always. Since we were kids, Denny."

"Was that the treasure?" He shook his head.

"No way. I had... Something else in mind. Denmark, sit down. I need to talk to you." I pouted. More long, boring talks.

"Fine..." I sat down next to him on his bed. He put his head in his hands. Why was he so distressed? "Norgie... You aren't pregnant again, are you?"

"What?! No! I hope not..."

"Then what is it?"

"Listen."

**Author's Note:**

This one is a bit longer. Extra, super special chapter for Christmas! Happy holidays, everybody!~ I was going to do some SuFin, but I had an epiphany. Next chapter, I promise! If there's no SuFin in chapter 14, you are allowed to hit me.


	14. Outrage and No Use

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

"Denmark, calm down..."

"No! Out. Out of this house, now."

"You can't just throw me out."

"Yes I can, it's my house. NOW GET YOUR ASS OUT THE DOOR NOW BEFORE I MAKE YOU LEAVE!"

"Um, technically, Sweden pays the r-"

"SWEDEN! MAKE HIM LEAVE." He looked up from the presents and shook his head.

"Norway can stay."

"FINE! I'LL LEAVE THEN! NOT LIKE YOU'LL FUCKING MISS ME!" I stormed out of the house not carrying anything. Norway just told me he had been cheating.

"I'LL BE BACK FOR MY THINGS AT 8:00. Meanwhile, why don't you get comfort from Romania?!" I slammed the door. Fuck. Well, this was a new low. Merry Christmas, I'm having sex with someone else. What kind of present is that?! I was so fucking mad at him I wanted to pound his lying face into the ground. Was I not good enough for that son of a bitch? Apparently not. Five years and he STILL decided to cheat on me. Ya know, maybe I wouldn't be as pissed if he told me about it a little earlier.

"D-Denny..." The door opened again and he reached out to grab my shoulder. I bit his hand.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, YOU WHORE." I didn't even turn around to see the look on his stupidass face. I ran. Believing I ever loved him was hard. Believing he ever loved me... Well, that was impossible.

* * *

The water ran over my face as I lay on the bottom of the shower. No use in standing up. No use in saying I was sorry for yelling. No use in anything. It grew cold. I didn't care. No use in making it warmer, either. Let the shower match my heart. The cold water went nicely with my apathy. I sighed. No use in sitting in the shower. I twisted the knobs to the side and stood up. Stepping out of the bathtub, I reached for a towel. No use in walking around naked. I stepped out of the bathroom with the towel around my waist, bumping into the owner of the house on the way.

"Oh, hey, dude! You have a nice shower?" I snarled. "You ok, man? You've been kinda hostile..." I sighed. America was being nice to me and letting me stay at his house. The least I could do is be nice.

"I'm sorry. I've just had a really rough day... I'd tell you about it, but I don't want to get mad again. Thank you so much for giving me a place to stay... I needed it." He smiled at me in that typical American way.

"No prob, dude. Anytime. You're my homie, so there's no reason I would help ya out! Just tell me if you need anything, ok?" I nodded.

"Ok." At that point I decided I should go and put on some clothes. I walked to the guest room I was assigned and closed the door. Opening the suitcases I had retrieved at 8:00, I picked out some clothes and put them on. Back out to the hallway.

"Hey, dude, is this your kid?"

"Daddy!" I looked down at Greenland.

"Aron!" I bent down and hugged him tight. "How did you get here?" He smiled up at me.

"Auntie Tino told me that I might be better off with you and just dropped me off! Mommy is drinking a lot and smells like beer. Who's this?" He tugged on America's shirt.

"This is Uncle Alfred. He's being nice and letting me stay here."

"Oh, ok! Hello, Uncle Alfred!" Aron smiled at him then looked back at me.

"Daddy, what's going on? You were yelling a lot and you used bad words. Are you and Mommy fighting?" I shook my head.

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

"Ok! So, yesterday I met Mr. Romania! He was really nice! And Mommy got along with him too! And his teeth are really sharp and..." He started rambling on and on with the one my boyfriend was cheating on me with. And that's when I knew I had some competition to eliminate.

**Author's Note:**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAND THE BIG REVEAL! Decided to toss some RomaNor in there. Greenland is so cute, isn't he? I'm actually on a roleplay site, playing him. It's so fun. Anyway, enough rambling. Not quite sure what's gonna happen next chapter, open to suggestions!


	15. Mocking and Insanity

Lazy Sunday. About a week after I found out, me and Greenland still are living with America. I hadn't got any word from the house. Norway probably decided he was happier with that bloodsucking idiot than with me, so this is what it was going to be like from now on... I didn't care. There wasn't anything about that whore I needed. He was fine where he was. Crying in Romania's arms. Yet, somehow, I couldn't find the ability to smile. Or do anything, for that matter. I would lie on the couch all day. Never change clothes, never take a shower, just live off cheese doodles, Mountain Dew, and whatever shitty excuse for entertainment was on the TV.

"Dude...?" America stared down at me. "You do know I have a guest room for you, right?" I looked up. It was sickening to see him. His blue eyes, sparkly behind clear glasses, his dusty blonde hair, washed, conditioned, and brushed, and worst of all, that goofy grin he always wears, composed of shiny white teeth. I was ready to clobber the bastard.

_"You do know I have a guest room for you, right,"_ I mocked under my breath. What an idiot. He stared at me a little more, as if he didn't believe what I just did, before turning his back and walking away, no words said. I would have laughed. But I couldn't even grin. I hugged the two litre of Coke I had and gazed blankly at the television. I don't care if I looked like a slob, I didn't care even if I was a slob. To be honest, I didn't care about anything anymore. Not Norway, not hygiene, nothing. It wasn't long before I stopped caring about the one thing that needed me most. My son.

* * *

"Daddy?" I groaned. "Daddy, wake up." I swatted at the air next to the couch, attempting to shoo him away. "Daddy, I'm hungry!"

"Daddy doesn't care. Go cook your own food, you little brat." I heard his voice waiver a bit. He was about to start crying.

"B-but... I'm only five. And I don't know how to coo-" I cut him off, sitting up and opening my eyes. Then, crack! The back of my hand came in contact with his cheek. The little bastard was really crying now.

"Shut up! You're just like Norway. Nag, nag, nag. Why don't you go ask _Uncle Alfred?"_ He wailed and held his cheek, which was now red, and I took this as an opportunity to get up. "Have fun with that," I snarled.

"Denmark!" Great. Just what I needed. Another fucking annoying brat. "Did you just do what I think you did?!" I shifted my gaze up to America and bared my teeth.

"Yeah? So? What are you gonna do about it, bitch?" It didn't seem like he was affected at all. "Well?!" He stood up straighter and looked me in the eyes. I snarled and pulled myself up to full height. I was significantly taller than him. I placed my hand on top of his head. His eyes widened. Pressing my fingers into his temple, I got the perfect grip and lifted him up to eye level. "WELL?!" I practically spit the word. He struggled in my grip before giving up on getting free and just accepting the fact that he was going to dangle there until I was done with him. Disgusted, I shoved him to the ground and he squeaked. "Fuck this." I stepped on him and headed to the bathroom. Within moments he was back on his feet and knocking on the door.

"Denmark, please. Just listen to me."

"LEAVE ME ALONE."

"Denmark..." I sighed.

"What?"

"I don't even know what happened. All I know is that you showed up on Christmas Day at my house, saying you needed somewhere to stay. A few days later, your kid shows up, and now you're bitch slapping a five year old and picking me up by my head!"

"...I'm so sorry. I was a bitch."

"Hm?"

"I heard Norway was cheating on me... And I flew off the handle... I could've just sat down and talked about it, but instead I did this. You'll still let me stay here, right?"

"Nope. Get out." And now I have to find someone else to freeload off of.

**Author's Note:**

Ok, I think I've got everything figured out, from here to the end of the story. YES THERE IS AN END AND I'M SORRY BUT IT HAS TO HAPPEN. ;-;


End file.
